Dr. Pat Allen's Library R to Z

Dr. Pat Allen's
Recommended Reading List:
Titles R to Z

Pat often recommends books and reference works in her lectures, shows and therapy sessions, citing scientific researchers and other relationship experts as the sources behind her communication theories, and as recommended further reading for clients. When Pat suggests a particular book on a topic that examines a problem in your own particular relationship, here's the place to check it out. You can even order the books direct from Amazon.com with one-click ordering. Think of this as your personal "Study Hall" for learning how to improve your relationships and personal success in life....

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Rational-Emotive Therapy: A Skills-Based Approach
(Russell Grieger)
Based on the work of Albert Ellis, PhD, REBT is an approach to emotional growth that teaches individuals how to replace their own self-defeating thoughts, beliefs and actions with more effective, life-enhancing ideas and behavior. REBT was developed by Ellis in 1955. He is widely recognized as one of the most influential psychologists of all time.

Receiving Woman: Studies in the Psychology and Theology of the Feminine
(Ann Belford Ulanov)
We live in a time of unparalleled opportunity for women and a time, just because of that opportunity, of great stress. It is a time when every woman can find her own particular style, to develop her skills, to acknowledge her needs and failures, and to claim both her satisfactions and dissatisfactions.
The old stereotypes are all but dead. But another danger threatens; of new stereotyped roles for women in the very range of choices and opportunities presented to contemporary women. "Receiving Woman grew out of a decade of reflections on women's experiences — my own, my patients', and my students'," writes Professor Ulanov. "From all of them, a common voice emerged speaking about each woman's struggle to receive all of herself. Each was trying to find and put together different parts of herself into a whole that was personal, alive, and real to her and to others."

The Right Mind: Making Sense of the Hemispheres
(Robert Ornstein)
"I began this book with a pretty firm prejudice," says Robert Ornstein of his survey of the two halves of the human brain. "I believed that after two decades of research we'd find...that there might be little to distinguish the two sides." Instead, he concluded that "the division of the mind is profound," with deep roots in evolution, embryonic development, and society. It is profound, but not simplistic: Ornstein shows how the right hemisphere is neither a chimpanzee-like moron nor a mystical genius. It provides the context, the big picture, while the left hemisphere keeps track of the details. Doris Lessing says, "I have always admired Robert Ornstein's ability to explain difficult scientific ideas to ordinary people"; Paul Ehrlich calls The Right Mind "the most innovative, fascinating work yet to appear on the role of the two hemispheres of the brain."

The Road Less Traveled, 25th Anniversary Edition : A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
(M. Scott Peck)
Psychotherapy is all things to all people in this mega-selling pop-psychology watershed, which features a new introduction by the author in this 25th anniversary edition. Often departing from the cerebral and rationalistic bent of Freudian discourse for a mystical, Jungian tone more compatible with New Age spirituality, Peck writes of psychotherapy as an exercise in "love" and "spiritual growth," asserts that "our unconscious is God" and affirms his belief in miracles, reincarnation and telepathy.
Peck's synthesis of such clashing elements is held together by a warm and lucid discussion of psychiatric principles and moving accounts of his own patients' struggles and breakthroughs. Harmonizing psychoanalysis and spirituality, Christ and Buddha, Calvinist work ethic and interminable talking cures, this book is a touchstone of our contemporary culture.

The Secret Life of the Unborn Child: How You Can Prepare Your Baby for a Happy, Healthy Life
(Thomas Verny & John Kelly)
Acknowledging that unborn babies are capable of learning and responding to love, voices, and sounds and are able to warn you of medical problems you and your doctor may be unaware of, Dr. Thomas Verny shows you how to communicate with your child before birth to give him or her a greater chance for health and happiness.

The Secret Teachings of All Ages (Reader's Edition)
(Manly P. Hall)
In 1928, a 20-something Renaissance man named Manly Hall self-published a vast encyclopedia of the occult, believing that "modern" ideas of progress and materialism were displacing more important and ancient modes of knowledge. Hall's text has become a classic reference, dizzying in its breadth: various chapters explore Rosicrucianism, Kabbalah, alchemy, cryptology, Tarot, pyramids, the Zodiac, Pythagorean philosophy, Masonry and gemology, among other topics.

Sex on the Brain: The Biological Differences Between Men and Women
(Deborah Blum)
For centuries, links between biology and behavior have been mined for ammunition in the gender wars. Western science has often tainted the discussion by skewing the norm toward men so that the biological underpinnings of their weaknesses and strengths are applauded while those of women are denigrated.
Sex on the Brain is a chatty, fairly evenhanded report on a broad range of animal and human studies intended to provide insight into hot-button issues such as aggression, nurturing behavior, infidelity, homosexuality, hormonal drives, and sexual signals.
According to one researcher, "We inherit the behavior essentially of our past." Morning sickness, for example, which steers some women away from strong tastes and smells, may once have protected babes in utero from toxic items. Infidelity is a way for men to ensure genetic immortality. Interestingly, when we deliberately change sex-role behavior — say men become more nurturing or women more aggressive — our hormones and even our brains respond by changing, too.

Sex, Time, and Power: How Women's Sexuality Shaped Human Evolution
(Leonard Shlain)
This book sets out to explore why and when people evolved so far away from other mammals in several key ways, all of which Dr. Shlain ties to the biological differences between men and women. Some of the concepts proposed in this book might seem a bit of a stretch. And they are — whether or not they turn out to be factual. Shlain contends, for instance, that women essentially invented the concept of time due to their experience of menses. Whatever conclusions the reader comes to, the author exposes the underlying gender biases in so many scientific assumptions; the result is one of those books that cannot help but alter one's perceptions.

Tantra: The Art of Conscious Loving
(Charles Muir & Caroline Muir)
The Muirs courageously bring to public attention the importance of free-flowing sexual energy for mental and physical well-being — a relationship that much of modern psychology has overlooked. With easy-to-follow exercises, this provocative and timely book offers modern couples ancient Tantric secrets for deepening relationships, intimacy and passion.

Think and Grow Rich: Revised and Updated for the 21st Century
(Napoleon Hill)
Inspired by Andrew Carnegie's magic formula for achieving your goals in life, this book will teach you the secrets that will bring you a what you want. It will show you not only what to do but how to do it. Once you learn and apply the simple, basic techniques revealed here, you will have mastered the secret of true and lasting success. And you may have whatever you want in life. This is the Master Mind Principle: two or more persons working together in complete harmony toward a mutual goal or goals. Napoleon Hill's philosophy teaches you what you were never taught: How to Recognize, Relate, Assimilate and Apply principles to achieve any goal that doesn't violate Universal Law — the Law of God and the rights of your fellowman. This book helps the reader create a personalized roadmap to success. It only takes a few weeks to cultivate a good habit. "We first make our habits and then our habits make us."

Toward a Psychology of Being, 3rd Edition
(Abraham Maslow)
"If we wish to help humans to become more fully human, we must realize not only that they try to realize themselves, but that they are also reluctant or afraid or unable to do so. Only by fully appreciating this dialectic between sickness and health can we help to tip the balance in favor of health." —Abraham Maslow
Abraham Maslow's theories of self-actualization and the hierarchy of human needs are the cornerstone of modern humanistic psychology, and no book so well epitomizes those ideas as this classic. A profound book, an exciting book, its influence continues to spread, more than a quarter century after its author's death, beyond psychology and throughout the humanities, social theory, and business management theory.

Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy
(Eric Berne)
Berne was famous for his use of ordinary, easy-to-understand words instead of psychiatric terminology. He mapped interpersonal relationships to three ego-states of the individuals involved: the Parent, Adult, and Child state. He then investigated communications between individuals based on the current state of each. These interpersonal interactions he called transactions; certain patterns of transactions which popped up repeatedly in everyday life he called games.
His seminar group from the 1950s developed the term Transactional Analysis (TA) to describe therapies based on his work, and this expanded into the International Transactional Analysis Association. Many psychological therapists have put his ideas into practice.

Transforming Sexuality: The Archetypal World of Anima and Animus
(Ann Belford Ulanov)
For your most intimate and significant relationship with the opposite sex, look within yourself — to anima and animus, the archetypal symbols that define and celebrate the presence of the Feminine in men and the Masculine in women. These compelling figures express inner realities of psyche and spirit with which we all must grapple in putting together the pieces of our individual identities — whether we are married or single, sexually active or celibate, heterosexual or homosexual. They ultimately provide a bridge between the ego and the deepest Self, opening the way to profound self-knowledge and spiritual transformation. The authors use their broad backgrounds in psychology, theology, philosophy, and the arts to follow the archetypes from clinical practice into a fascinating range of cultural manifestations, particularly in the world's great literature — from Dante to Pasternak — making this book the most wide-ranging study to date of these central concepts in Jungian psychology.

What Do You Say After You Say Hello?: The Psychology of Human Destiny
(Eric Berne)
Ever wonder why you say certain things at certain times or have a predicable reaction to a given situation? This is the book that tells you the reasons.
But that in itself is not enough. The best thing is the no-nonsense, revealing and sometimes painful truths it reveals. A reader can immediately see in a compelling and understandable way the whole mechanism of their human interactions, both good and bad, and the reader can then use this understanding and the tools revealed to help him/herself in his relationships, his work, his life.

What You Think of Me Is None of My Business
(Terry Cole-Whitaker)
Set yourself free! The only real thing that matters is what you think about and enjoy about yourself. This book teaches you how to cope, how to figure out who and what is important to you, and how to tap into your happiness.

When Opposites Attract: Right Brain/Left Brain Relationships and How to Make Them Work
(Rebecca Cutter)
In this sensitive guide to relationship problems, Cutter, a Southern California marriage and family therapist, invites couples to consider a non-gender-bound perspective based on brain research that links the left cerebral hemisphere to analytical thought and language, and the right hemisphere to creativity and intuition. "Left-brain dominant" mates, we are told, focus on one thing at a time, are blunt, straightforward, tenacious and prefer not to take risks, while "right-brain dominant" types are intuitive and spontaneous, avoid routine and have trouble separating emotion from fact. When an LB person hooks up with an RB, he or she must learn specific skills to coordinate their polarized ways of being, asserts Cutter, who includes dialogues from couples therapy sessions plus self-help exercises. Whether or not one accepts her categories, which seem simplistic, this eye-opening manual has much to say about commitment, respect, earning trust and accepting imperfections, and should help many couples confront unmet needs.

Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am?
(John Powell)
Contains insights on self-awareness, personal growth and communication with others. Why do people continually hide their real selves from the people around them? Why are so many so insecure and afraid to open up?
The answer, explains John Powell, is that maturity is reached by communicating and interacting with others. This book considers the consequences our real self faces if no one else ever finds out what we are like. In this enduring classic, the companion to Why Am I Afraid to Love?, Powell explains how to be more emotionally open, and shows how people adopt roles and play psychological games to protect their inner selves.
The courage to be our real selves can be developed, and then we can begin to grow. Now newly designed for a fresh audience, Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? is as relevant as it has been for twenty years. With a proven track record, it continues to speak to the needs and aspirations of people today.

Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What To Do About It
(Allan Pease & Barbara Pease)
Ever wonder why women can brush their teeth while walking and talking on various subjects while men generally find this very difficult to do? Why 99% of all patents are registered by men? Why stressed women talk? Why so many husbands hate shopping?
According to Barbara and Allan Pease, science now confirms that "the way our brains are wired and the hormones pulsing through our bodies are the two factors that largely dictate, long before we are born, how we will think and behave. Our instincts are simply our genes determining how our bodies will behave in given sets of circumstances." That's right: socialization, politics, or upbringing aside, men and women have profound brain differences and are intrinsically inclined to act in distinct — and consequently frustrating — ways.

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